CakeAssault puts in the kind of Rivals of Aether performance that would impress hockey fans

A general consensus is that few athletes on the face of this earth are tougher than hockey players. Based on a victory celebration in Sandusky, Ohio this past weekend, there’s a case to be made that esports athlete Alex “CakeAssault” Strobel might do pretty well on the blades. Battling his way through a field of 245-players in Riptide—a three-day Super Smash Bros. Rivals of Aether/Splatoon 2 tournament—was impressive. But it was after his victory where things got truly next-level.

After the last winning blow had been delivered in the fighting-game, CakeAssault vaulted out of his chair and then began celebrating like a coke addict who’d just been given the keys to Pablo Escobar’s Columbian compound. We’re talking a display that makes a 25.5 megavolt electrocution look like someone stuck their tongue on a Duracell CopperTop 9 volt battery.

After about 4.6 seconds of complete screaming rapture, the good times suddenly stopped, and the off-the-charts weirdness began. Evidently vanquishing all competitors in Rivals of Aether for 72 hours is easy, but celebrating responsibly is difficult. CakeAssault popped off so insanely that he dislocated his shoulder, and then promptly dropped to the stage in momentary shock.

To his credit, rather than lying there like an Italian soccer player, he quickly got back on his feet, and then continued celebrating.

Later he took to Twitter to inform his fans “i fell on the ground during that popoff cuz i dislocated my shoulder lmao”.

Bobby Baun (who once hacked off a leg cast in between periods so he could keep playing), and Zdano Chara (who broke his jaw in the playoffs, and was back on the ice the next game) would be impressed. Raheem Sterling, Pepe, Sadio Mané, and Sergio Ramos on the other hand, well, not so much.

Here’s the magic moment from Alex “CakeAssault” Strobel.

Mike Usinger once took the better part of two years to finish Grand Theft Auto. Over the course of his career he has written about everything from eSports to music to movies to travel.

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